I feel like a slacker...

BUT I SHOULDN'T FEEL LIKE A SLACKER AT ALL!

I was sick two days ago and decided not to run as scheduled yesterday, but to wait until this morning to hit the road. I was scheduled to run 6 miles, which isn't exactly an easy feat for me yet, but I have done it. So I thought I'd be fine and I could totally do 6 miles.

Well, I had a goal in my mind of coming in around the 1:12 mark, just to give myself something to shoot for. I ran the first mile and a half with my water bottle, which I hate holding. Dropped it off at a point where I'd be passing by around mile 3.5 to pick it up again. I made my turn around and headed back to my water bottle. I was getting tired by that point, and had to stop for about a minute to drink some water.

Now I have always had major problems with stopping in the middle of a run; it is beyond difficult for me to start running again once I've stopped. But I pushed on and said to myself, "Come on Moni, you can do this!"

I kept on going and made one of my last turns on the run. I was hot, tired, and felt like I was giving my all and my body was telling me that I needed to stop sooner rather than later. My quads were just pulsing, in such a way that felt like they were having spasms. I drank the last of my water, and I just stopped.

I listened to my body and decided that I could not keep running. No, actually I decided that I should not keep running. My body was telling me, "Hey you! You were sick two days ago, and you've barely eaten for 48 hours. How far do you think we're going to make it before we shut down your system? Are you nuts?!"

I had run 5.5 miles and I'd given that run everything I had in my body and soul. And yet, as I walked home, I couldn't help thinking that I was a slacker and a quitter because I couldn't do that last half a mile. How ridiculous is that? I'd just run 5.5 miles, and I felt incomplete because I hadn't run 6. Who am I? I'm over it now... I know that I made the right decision by listening to my body.